Building Good Friendships

Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a group of people?

Hey GEM girls! When I was younger, I wanted to fit in with my "friends". They would always talk about the latest movie they had seen or a fashion trend that I had never heard about. It was hard to sit there and listen as they bonded over concerts and shows that I would never be able to see. I often felt alone, even when I was surrounded by people who called themselves my friends.

And the confusing thing was, they were Christians as well. We all went to the same church. But that's where the line was drawn in similarities. My family always placed an emphasis on purity in mind and body, whereas my friends didn't think that was a big deal.

Over time, I came to realize that it is better to have a few close friends who are focused on Jesus than a lot of friends who aren't. Proverbs 18:24 says, "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

So, how do we choose good, like-minded friends? First of all, pray. Ask God for guidance on who you should spend more time with, and which current friendships you should end.

Secondly, don't choose a friend on how they look. Outward appearances may be misleading. "...People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7.

Thirdly, consider their behavior. Are they genuine Christians? Are they kind to their parents or little siblings, or are they rude? Are they one of the first to volunteer at church? What do they do during the sermon? Are they on their phones, or are they paying attention, taking notes, etc? Observation and prayer are always key to learning more about someone.

Now that we know how to find a good Christian friend, what specific traits should we be looking for?

They should love sacrificially and truly care about you. They will stand by your side and not leave during difficult times. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17).

They will not be jealous of you, or your friendships with others. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." 1 Corinthians 13:4.

They will critique you with Christian love. Constructive criticism is key. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies affection." Proverbs 27:6

Spending time with them should make you a better person, and lead you closer to Christ. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

So, GEM girls, have you ever been in a friendship that you needed to end? Or have you found a good, Christian friend or friend group? If so, share your experience in the comments! ❤️

With love,